I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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