id be glad to
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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