my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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