I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
