highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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