oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
