Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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