I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
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I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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