I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize