In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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