Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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