Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  We're facebook friends in real life

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  (561): We're facebook friends in real life http://tfl.nu/e7wr
  Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (1015)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sounds like a really classy character....

  (478): View more from Georgia

  He is classy. It was argyle.

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  (478): So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis (410): Sounds like a really classy character.... (478): He is classy. It was argyle. http://tfl.nu/j1fr
  Replies (18) Good night (6668) Bad night (739)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus

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  (517): careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus http://tfl.nu/qcmy
  Replies (23) Good night (3011) Bad night (694)
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  (315): View more from New York

  playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps

  (315): View more from New York

  warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey

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  (315): playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps (315): warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey http://tfl.nu/dgn3
  Replies (86) Good night (4037) Bad night (623)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.

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  (617): Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar. http://tfl.nu/mo7u
  Replies (8) Good night (3674) Bad night (619)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.

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  (401): I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes. http://tfl.nu/a6fu
  Replies (12) Good night (5079) Bad night (981)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude

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  (630): I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude http://tfl.nu/ede0
  Replies (20) Good night (7299) Bad night (1041)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.

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  (301): My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it. http://tfl.nu/gp6s
  Replies (7) Good night (3193) Bad night (1107)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.

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  (972): I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success. http://tfl.nu/i1ko
  Replies (6) Good night (3127) Bad night (1089)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.

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  (817): I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar. http://tfl.nu/kkdj
  Replies (6) Good night (828) Bad night (1066)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?

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  (717): Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast? http://tfl.nu/62uv
  Replies (16) Good night (1749) Bad night (773)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.

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  (304): Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad. http://tfl.nu/m6pm
  Replies (5) Good night (1655) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug

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  (267): I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug http://tfl.nu/3mhw
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (265)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women

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  (808): there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women http://tfl.nu/4eji
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (297)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead

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  (973): I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead http://tfl.nu/zr0a
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (214)

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