I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.