wakey wakey hands off snakey
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.