Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
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His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
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He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???