Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  didn't that happen to you last weekend?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  shut up.

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  (781): i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention. (1-781): didn't that happen to you last weekend? (781): shut up. http://tfl.nu/cv2d
  Replies (5) Good night (1056) Bad night (2011)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu

  (773): View more from Illinois

  which is why it's clearly superior

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  (773): the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu (773): which is why it's clearly superior http://tfl.nu/iahv
  Replies (26) Good night (2945) Bad night (634)
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  (650): View more from California

  ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person

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  (650): ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person http://tfl.nu/h7ls
  Replies (13) Good night (1096) Bad night (2467)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.

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  (702): I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet. http://tfl.nu/4zwd
  Replies (36) Good night (3446) Bad night (1103)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  i told you not to try chat roulette

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  (248): it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world (1-248): i told you not to try chat roulette http://tfl.nu/80bv
  Replies (20) Good night (1309) Bad night (6554)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.

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  (705): It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed. http://tfl.nu/ac0o
  Replies (16) Good night (976) Bad night (6254)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.

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  (651): saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort. http://tfl.nu/ekj0
  Replies (17) Good night (3823) Bad night (941)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.

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  (615): We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers. http://tfl.nu/6a3z
  Replies (6) Good night (2205) Bad night (830)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.

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  (705): He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment. http://tfl.nu/68lb
  Replies (7) Good night (2022) Bad night (874)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.

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  (906): Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work. http://tfl.nu/815e
  Replies (13) Good night (1108) Bad night (2912)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?

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  (512): did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz? http://tfl.nu/l1f0
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (475)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.

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  (+61): I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda. http://tfl.nu/2v8c
  Replies (0) Good night (349) Bad night (250)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year

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  (775): Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year http://tfl.nu/wpi9
  Replies (9) Good night (399) Bad night (644)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.

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  (617): Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job. http://tfl.nu/3704
  Replies (4) Good night (851) Bad night (587)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.

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  (319): How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you? (720): I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be. http://tfl.nu/ix10
  Replies (6) Good night (934) Bad night (173)

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