Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today

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  (646): your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today http://tfl.nu/czz0
  Replies (3) Good night (2506) Bad night (4625)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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  (913): id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!" http://tfl.nu/e9j9
  Replies (5) Good night (2484) Bad night (628)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.

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  (724): And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after. http://tfl.nu/p612
  Replies (38) Good night (6056) Bad night (978)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up

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  (727): I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up http://tfl.nu/lw6q
  Replies (10) Good night (3732) Bad night (620)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

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  (847): i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1. http://tfl.nu/5eb0
  Replies (46) Good night (1956) Bad night (5847)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can

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  (401): well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can http://tfl.nu/8xnn
  Replies (18) Good night (3088) Bad night (2042)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job

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  (847): The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job http://tfl.nu/ki5a
  Replies (46) Good night (4831) Bad night (1945)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  she's gonna get diseases

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  (778): she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from... (1-778): she's gonna get diseases http://tfl.nu/ja7i
  Replies (7) Good night (1110) Bad night (1525)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you

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  (815): You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you http://tfl.nu/fukp
  Replies (9) Good night (1966) Bad night (589)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina

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  (706): I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina http://tfl.nu/j6ze
  Replies (12) Good night (2383) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.

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  (631): She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/p8fj
  Replies (21) Good night (4999) Bad night (915)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat

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  (608): Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles? (1-608): Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat http://tfl.nu/wmfp
  Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (499)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.

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  (918): I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated. http://tfl.nu/rg2y
  Replies (2) Good night (1040) Bad night (460)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.

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  (914): He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast. http://tfl.nu/061g
  Replies (4) Good night (789) Bad night (492)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes

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  (561): If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes http://tfl.nu/y5re
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (212)

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