I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.