I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
vagina is talking i cant
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
