It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
