That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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