Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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