I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
