I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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