READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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