new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So much rum. So many feels.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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