Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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