sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You had me at "let me see your balls"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
