Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
