i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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