Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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