kristin has been a bad kristin
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Found your dick twin last night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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