The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
