i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
