how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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