I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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