So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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