OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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