I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
