If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
