I skipped work to stalk him.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it glows. i had to have it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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