I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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