I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
