We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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