My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
