wrigley field is MILF paradise
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
