Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize