Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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