dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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