Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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