Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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