Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
