I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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