He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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