1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
