You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
