she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm too high and old for this...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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