the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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