we made out on top of his cat.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You need Xanax blowdarts
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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