im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
