do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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