I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
