She is in my trunk
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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