yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
