Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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